I wanna passion pit in your ass
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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