So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
