i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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