was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
