Apparently you make a good broom.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
