Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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