I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
These tits shall not be calmed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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