I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
