My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
