From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just had sex on a roof
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
