Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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