He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
