Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
