So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Best friends brother. Beat that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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