I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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