I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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