ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
