Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How does it feel to date your dad?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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