hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize