how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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