do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
