she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Green mimosas i think yes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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