but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
