Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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