I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
