my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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