Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I need a beard to bite.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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