so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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