I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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