i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
