I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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