Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
