i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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