K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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