Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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