she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize