Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just google imaged poop.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
