I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
