I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize