So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i would punch a child for taco bell
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
