yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
