just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
