I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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