He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
