i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
