For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize