I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
