he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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