So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize