As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
