Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
