Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
pop tarts are not kleenex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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