toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
