well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
