If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
