bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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