And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
