While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
