i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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