Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
