I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
