I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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