physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize