Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
