Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
