Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
